Bedside heartache
by Daine's Twin
Summary: A little story about Kally and Kaddar. Kind of fluffy and might remain a oneshot. R&R if you have time.


A single tear slid slowly down her smooth, porcelain-pale cheek. A ragged sob escaped her throat, before she shoved her emotions back. Kalasin needed to be strong, any sign of weakness would be the straw to break the camel's back.

Carthak was still fragile, despite the years that had passed since Kaddar had been crowned Emperor. The Royal Intelligence Unit was forever working to weed out conspirators, but problems left over from Ozone's dark rule and shocking demise made their aim an almost unobtainable dream.

Kalasin's marriage to Kaddar was supposed to have cemented the regaining strength of the monarchy and be a symbol of hope for those who had lost their ability to dream, but Kally was not the fairy tale saviour that the hype before the wedding had made her out to be. In fact there was little that she and Kaddar could do to make situations better than to present a pleasant exterior, to deter the radicals who thought they could lead a revolution and solve the country's problems, while they had their parliament officials and influential members of court trying to negotiate for food and aid to be sent to the worst off places in the empire.

The pressure of high expectations had crushed the new Empress from the beginning and as she sat beside her ailing husband's bedside she recalled how the shock of finally having the arranged marriage that she had been expecting all of her life and the sudden change of lifestyle had made her distant towards him, stunting the growth of their relationship to a point when he seemed to give up trying to break down the barrier that prevented them from truly being more than just work partners. He had even taken to sleeping in his study or at odd hours so as to avoid being in bed with her, not that anything other than sleep or at least pretending to sleep happened when they were in bed.

It was only now, as she saw the very real possibility of losing Kaddar, one a short year after they had been wed, staring her in the face, did Kalasin realise that she had come to admire and love the man she had married. She now understood how it had taken her Aunt Daine and Uncle Numy so long to see the love that was in front of them for such a long time.

Her emotional pain was so much that she had started to ache physically from the knowledge that her Gift, and the Gift of any healer or mage, was unable to help Kaddar. It intrigued the greatest scholars at the University, how they could not seem to find the cause of the emperor's extreme fatigue and how their continuous magical restoration of his strength seemed to make him weaker still. They looked at it all as if it were a jigsaw puzzle that they could argue and joke about until they found the solution. Kally only saw her husband slipping further and further away. She longed for him to wake up in the morning and, not only have the strength to talk and move his own body but, to offer, in his polite and quiet manner, to show her around his private gardens.

He had done this when they had been newly married and many times since then. Kally knew he had noticed her discomfort in having to wear a veil and was really offering her an opportunity to go outdoors without having to hide her face, as it was not scandalous for her to remove her veil when she was alone with her husband. There were no guards permitted in the emperor's personal gardens, his personal body guards were stationed outside of the gates when he was gardening and the delicate and powerful protection and security spells placed on the garden walls ensured that Kaddar would be safe inside.

Kalasin had also known that, along with his kind intentions regarding her personal comfort, he had been lonely and had wanted to be able to share his true passion of gardening with his wife, so that they had something special that they could share with only each other and that this would help them to, eventually, develop a bond. The very thought had scared Kalasin and was the main reason she had always declined his offers. No matter how much she wanted to observe his exotic flowers or plants that she had only ever seen in textbook diagrams, she did not want to give in and truly commit herself to any part of Carthak and that included it's emperor. She had secretly hoped that if she remained distant towards him he would no longer want her as his empress, despite the political benefits, and that he would return her home to Tortall.

She knew that her thoughts had been the selfish and unrealistic delusions of a spoilt little girl, and now as she sat beside her husband's sick bed, proving not only to the world but to herself, what a strong woman that she had become, she knew that she would rather be in Carthak and live behind a veil for the rest of her days, than ever lose her Kaddar. _**Her Kaddar.**_ Kalasin had never wanted or expected to give her heart to anyone, especially some noble husband her parents had chosen for her. Kalasin smiled then, she knew that she had been lying to herself to pretend that Kaddar had only just won her heart. The memory of the day, nine months ago, was imprinted in her memory forever.

_It was almost three months since the royal couple had been wed and Kaddar had organised a traditional Cathraki temple blessing ceremony and a picnic on the bank of the river for afterwards. Kalasin was not very eager about the idea, but understood the importance of such things to improve the Cathaki people's image of their new Empress. _

_The ceremony had been long and boring, without any interesting or nasty events for her to remember it by. When they finally arrived at the river bank Kalasin was almost too grumpy to stay there, she had been violently ill almost everyday since she had been in Carthak, the food of her new home did not seem to agree with her previously non-experimental digestive system. She had hoped that she would be able to simply lie on a rug on the soft dirt and go to sleep, but as their picnic location came into her view she discovered that her husband did not share the same ideas as her as to what a picnic should be like. _

_There was a raised platform covered in cushions and throws for the royal couple to sit on in in the middle was a square, slightly raised table, complete with plates, glasses, cutlery and a vase of expensive foreign flowers. Kalasin has sighed and prepared herself for the afternoon of forced pleasantries to be exchanged in front of the audience of attendants. Kaddar took her hand as he heard her obvious exhale and led her up onto the platform, only to have their surroundings disappear from around them. _

"_As far as anyone out there now knows, we are sitting down to a six course meal that will take the whole afternoon. As far as our real plans are concerned, I will be leaving soon with the aid of a cloaking spell to meet with negotiators about making peace with the Sarvainian rebels in the east. We cannot afford to let anyone know that when the trouble dies down it was arranged by us, it must appear to all that the militant groups are starting to see the light. You will be staying here," He motioned to a plush daybed covered in soft fur throws, "You need to rest properly and I arranged to have some Tortallan native fruits imported for you, but I'm afraid even eating these will have to remain a secret until we can improve the civilians food situation and maybe even make imports popular."_

Kally let her head drop to the motionless hand that she held between her own two. "Please Kaddar, you can't leave me." She let her tears run freely and wept. When she collapsed from the emotion, her sleep was filled with dreams of him soothing her aching heart.


End file.
